Kanojo ni Uwaki Volume 1 Chapter 4: Wrapping Up the Year

 Volume 1 Chapter 4: Wrapping Up the Year

 

The next day, I was walking through the department store with Ayaka.

 

The decorations had already shifted from Christmas to New Year’s. Red and white banners hung around, signaling the year’s end.

 

Thanks to the year-end bargain sales, the place was more crowded than usual.

 

“Ugh, I shouldn’t have come today,” she muttered.

 

“You’re the one who invited me…”

 

I replied, thoroughly exasperated. Ayaka let out a sigh.

 

“Because you’re the only one I can count on to carry my bags.”

 

“There are plenty of other people you could ask. You dragged me out just to be your pack mule.”

 

“Ehh, I don’t want to bother them. I’d have to be considerate.”

 

Saying that, Ayaka made her way toward the cosmetics store.

 

Even someone as sociable as Ayaka didn’t seem to have that many people she could be totally comfortable around. I was well aware of that.

 

I wondered how a typical guy would feel being summoned by the most popular girl in our group just to carry her stuff.

 

At the very least, I knew one thing for sure: I wanted to go home.

 

“Today, I came to scout out some new designer cosmetics. If I end up taking forever, I’d feel bad, you know?”

 

“And yet, that guilty conscience of yours doesn’t apply to me, huh?”

 

“Well, that’s different. We trust each other, right? Isn’t that the kind of relationship we have? Yeah, let’s go with that.”

 

“No, that’s not okay! Are you stupid or what!?”

 

I smacked Ayaka on the butt with the paper bag that held the winter clothes she’d just bought. A dull thwack rang out.

 

“Ow! You idiot, where exactly were you aiming!?”

 

“Shut up. Try realizing that you totally deserved it!”

 

Ayaka pouted, rubbing the spot where the bag had hit her. “Obviously I was just joking.”

 

“Seriously, don’t you think buying cosmetics online would be way more convenient these days? You’ve got reviews and everything.”

 

If she’d just bought them online, I wouldn’t have ended up carrying a mountain of shopping bags.

 

These days, it’s second nature to check reviews before making a purchase. I don’t put much stock in them myself, but I know I’m in the minority.

 

Surprisingly, though, Ayaka shook her head.

 

“There are review sites for cosmetics too, you know. I used to check them all the time. But turns out, a lot of the high ratings are from people who got free products in exchange for positive reviews.”

 

She ran her fingers through her hair as she said this.

 

The silky flow of her hair almost distracted me, but I managed to stay focused.

 

“I bought this one treatment with crazy good reviews, but it made my hair all stiff and gross. I thought something was off, so I looked up the lower-rated reviews, and they all said the same thing – ‘Don’t be fooled, these are fake.’”

 

That’s the dark side of reviews, I guess. They can be helpful, sure, but trusting them blindly can backfire.

 

“Sounds like a rough time.”

 

“Yeah. Well, not just with cosmetics. Whenever I really don’t want to regret something, I make sure to see it with my own eyes before deciding.”

 

She said it so casually, then crouched down to inspect some eyeliner.

 

It’s moments like this that make me think her ability to stick to her principles is one of Ayaka’s strongest points.

 

I wonder how many people around her actually know this side of her.

 

“What a waste.”

 

“Huh, really? I thought the price was fair, but… maybe it is a bit expensive. What do you think? Is it too much?”

 

…Apparently, having strong convictions and being decisive while shopping are two entirely different things.

 

I gave a half-hearted, “Yeah, I think it’s fine,” and adjusted the shopping bags in my hands.

 

The weight on my shoulder was starting to dig in.

 

“Want me to carry them?”

 

Ayaka suddenly held her hand out.

 

I hesitated for a moment, then shook my head.

 

Sure, I didn’t like being stuck with the bags – but walking beside her while she carried them would feel even more embarrassing.

 

If I cared at all about appearances, then keeping hold of the bags myself was clearly the wiser move.

 

“Thought so,” she said, as if she already knew I’d refuse, smiling smugly.

 

“Don’t ‘thought so’ me. You owe me something for this.”

 

Grumbling, I shot her a look, and Ayaka nodded without hesitation.

 

“I’ll treat you to a meal.”

 

“Wait, seriously?”

 

“Of course. You’re giving me your time and energy, after all.”

 

Well, that changed everything. My tired, grumbling mood did a full 180, and suddenly shopping didn’t seem so bad.

 

Ayaka seemed to notice the shift too, and let out a quiet chuckle.

 

Can you blame me? For a college student living alone, the words “I’ll buy you food” are enough to lift your spirits sky-high.

 

If it were coming from someone younger, maybe I’d hesitate, but coming from a peer? There’s no reason to refuse.

 

“I’m heading to the back section now, so while I’m gone, pick a place you want to eat.”

 

Ayaka stretched her back and swung her slender arms side to side.

 

Her heels clicked against the floor as she walked off into the back section of the store.

 

Once she was out of sight, I grinned and eagerly started tapping away at my phone.

 

Search…success.

 

It was a place I’d been curious about for a while, located near the station.

 

I made a reservation under the name Mino Ayaka.

 

 

◇

◆

 

“I said I’d treat you to anything, so why are we at a diner?”

 

Ayaka’s tone was one of utter disbelief.

 

The place we’d arrived at was a bustling, no-frills eatery crowded with office workers and students. Personally, I liked this kind of spot – but clearly, Ayaka wasn’t thrilled.

 

“I dunno, I was expecting something a little more stylish.”

 

“C’mon, don’t knock it. Look at the oden – it looks amazing.”

 

I pressed the order button. A cheerful ding-dong sounded, but it was immediately drowned out by the noise of the busy restaurant.

 

“Jeez. I was planning to win you over with some good food since you probably eat like crap all the time.”

 

“That’s a pretty ominous motive!”

 

“Well, it’s not like I’m wrong.”

 

With a resigned sigh, Ayaka took the menu from me and began flipping through the pages.

 

Her sulky expression gradually gave way to sparkling eyes.

 

When the waiter finally made it through the crowd of customers and reached our table, Ayaka immediately launched into a rapid-fire list of orders.

 

I wish I could show the Ayaka from thirty seconds ago this scene right now.

 

When the server returned with a steaming pot brimming with oden, Ayaka’s eyes lit up and she let out an excited squeal.

 

“No way, this is so much food!”

 

“Right? This is the one I’ve been dying to try. I mean, two thousand yen for all this? Total steal!”

 

The pot landed on our table with a satisfying thud. More than enough for two.

 

Ayaka quickly took a small plate and started portioning things out.

 

“Here, yours.”

 

“Thanks.”

 

I immediately went for the daikon – my favorite. The moment I bit into it, the rich broth burst in my mouth, warming me from the inside.

 

Ayaka’s face relaxed into a blissful grin as she bit into a steaming mochi pouch.

 

I tried to remember when we started eating together like this so naturally. Just the two of us, no pretense, no tension.

 

Back in high school, even grabbing lunch together came with baggage. You had to brace yourself. For the teasing, the jealous stares, the whispers. It was just lunch – but you needed all kinds of courage. And because of that, it didn’t happen very often.

 

That changed somewhere along the way. Maybe because our relationship shifted over time.

 

But more than that, it was everyone else who changed.

 

College dulled people’s edges. They became more tolerant – or just more indifferent.

 

It’s what growing up looks like, I guess.

 

Even in this ordinary meal, I could feel it pressing in – the shape of adulthood.

 

We were already second-year university students.

 

With job hunting on the horizon, this peaceful student life we had wouldn’t last even another year.

 

And that scared me.

 

The freedom that came with being “just a student”… I could feel it slipping away. And knowing that, more than anything, filled me with an inescapable dread.

 

“What’s with the weird face?”

 

Ayaka’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

 

Somehow, a piece of chikuwa had ended up in my dish.

 

She set the serving chopsticks down and tilted her head at me.

 

“Don’t tell me the oden wasn’t good?”

 

That coming from her, even though I was the one who suggested the place – meant my expression must’ve been off enough to make her worry.

 

“No, it’s not that. I was just thinking… We’re really becoming adults, huh?”

 

The moment I said it, Ayaka snorted.

 

“Well, yeah. We are over twenty now.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

Once you pass twenty, you’re officially an adult. It’s basic stuff.

 

But even knowing that, I didn’t feel like I was one – not really.

 

“Being of age and being an adult… they’re not the same thing.”

 

Ayaka grew a little more serious at that.

 

“Yeah, I get that. There are plenty of people who stay childish no matter how old they get.”

 

“I used to think, you know, once you hit twenty, your mind just kind of levels up. Like – bam – you become an adult overnight. But nothing really changes, does it?”

 

Back then, turning twenty had felt different. Not just another birthday – it came with a sense of expectation. I didn’t really believe some magical switch would flip, but still… I was ready for something to feel different.

 

And to be fair, the first few days after I turned twenty were kind of great.

 

The beer at the bar tasted better. Conversations with friends drifted toward things like the economy or politics – topics we used to ignore.

 

But that was all.

 

After that, it was back to the same routine at university – just another day.

 

We weren’t kids anymore, but we weren’t quite adults either.

 

College students over twenty existed in this awkward, in-between state – neither here nor there.

 

“I wish I could go back to middle or high school,” I muttered. “Y’know, relive that time – go all out in club activities again without thinking too much.”

 

“…Yeah,” Ayaka said softly. “If I could go back, I’d want to too.”

 

A shadow passed over her expression.

 

Even though our feelings said otherwise, the gears of time kept turning without pause.

 

I wondered if a day would come when I could proudly say I was an adult.

 

“…Wait, is something wrong?”

 

She leaned in, peering into my face like she was genuinely worried.

 

That made me feel guilty – especially since the truth was… nothing had happened.

 

“No, sorry. Really. I swear it’s nothing.”

 

Maybe it was just that end-of-year atmosphere that had me feeling this way – sentimental, reflective.

 

But… there was one more thing that came to mind.

 

Shinohara.

 

We were only a year apart, and yet somehow, she felt much younger – no, not because she acted childish, and not because I was mature either.

 

It was something else – something more fundamental. Like the energy we carried as people was on completely different wavelengths.

 

When I looked at her, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d grown up wrong somehow – if I’d gotten a little too jaded along the way.

 

Maybe that vague sense of disparity had been building in the background, and it had finally bubbled up into this weird, unwelcome melancholy.

 

But I kept those thoughts to myself.

 

Even if I said anything, it wouldn’t change a thing – and it would only trouble Ayaka.

 

She was treating me to a meal, after all. I might as well enjoy it while I could.

 

Telling myself that, I picked up my chopsticks and clapped them together.

 

“All right, time to eat!”

 

“There’s nothing left, though.”

 

Ayaka let out an exasperated sigh, then slid her small plate toward me. Sitting on it was the last piece of daikon.

 

“I’ll give you half.”

 

“For real? Thanks.”

 

I split the daikon in two and popped it into my mouth. It had cooled a little, but it was still just as delicious.

 

Ayaka watched me chew for a while, resting her chin on her hand. Then she spoke.

 

“Let’s still be close, even when we’re adults.”

 

She probably meant something like, let’s stay friends – and I figured that was enough.

 

I nodded without hesitation, and she gave me a soft smile.

 

I really like that expression of hers.

 

I didn’t say it out loud, of course, but it was something I genuinely felt.

 

 

◇

◆

 

The sound of the intercom ringing reached my ears the morning after I’d tagged along on Ayaka’s shopping trip.

 

When I opened the curtains, the sun was still low in the east, casting its golden light.

 

During long breaks with no plans, I usually default to a lazy, disorganized lifestyle. So for me, waking up early was one of the hardest things in the world.

 

I thought I’d heard the doorbell wake me up – but dragging myself out of bed just to check was way too much effort.

 

So I chose to ignore it and burrowed deeper into the covers.

 

Ding-dong-ding-doooong.

 

“Shut the hell up!!”

 

I threw the blankets off and bolted upright.

 

I threw the blankets off and bolted upright.

 

If it turned out to be some salesman, I didn’t have the guts to chew them out to their face – but at the very least, I could glare at them through the intercom camera.

 

But when I peeked at the screen, the now-familiar figure was already there.

 

It was Shinohara.

 

I hit the call button and said just one thing:

 

“Go home.”

 

Then I hung up before she could respond.

 

She had said she’d come by again, but I didn’t expect her to follow through this fast. I figured it would be sometime later – not now.

 

A glance at the clock told me it was just after 10 a.m.

 

Sure, it wasn’t exactly early by society’s standards – but by my standards, it was criminally rude.

 

My phone, still charging, buzzed with a call. It was her.

 

“…Guess I’ve got no choice.”

 

Dragging my feet like a man headed to the gallows, I trudged to the front door and unlocked it.

 

When I opened it, Shinohara stood there with a backpack slung over her shoulders.

 

“Senpai, isn’t there something you should be saying to me?”

 

“Why the hell are you here?”

 

“That’s not what you’re supposed to say! Try ‘sorry for making you wait!’”

 

“Oh… right.”

 

Couldn’t say I agreed with her logic – but I wasn’t about to argue it either.

 

I brushed it off with a vague grunt, and Shinohara let out a sigh.

 

“Well, whatever. Here, Senpai. This is for you.”

 

I took it with a bit of hesitation – and when I peeked inside, I saw it was a box of those famous, expensive sweets.

 

“You may enter.”

 

“Charging in!”

 

Without waiting for a proper invite, Shinohara happily barged into the room.

 

Not that I had any real desire to stop her.

 

Once I saw she’d safely made it into the one-room apartment, I stepped into the bathroom and peeled off my pajamas, planning to change into some proper clothes.

 

Just as I reached under the dryer to grab the outfit I’d set out, now standing in nothing but my underwear-

 

“Senpaaai, where did you-”

 

The door suddenly creaked open, and in she walked.

 

Our eyes met.

 

A moment of silence.

 

“—S-sorry, I didn’t mean to—!”

 

Anyone would be flustered if the person they were visiting turned out to be half-naked. Honestly, I was just glad I hadn’t gone all the way and stripped everything off.

 

“You’re good.”

 

I kept my response short as I started slipping on my clothes. Shinohara, clearly not expecting that kind of reaction, cried out in disbelief.

 

“Wait, that’s it!? Shouldn’t you be at least a little more flustered? Like, ‘Oh no, my underpants!’ or something?!”

 

“Mm…”

 

I mean, I got where she was coming from – but it’s not like I lost anything by being seen. If the roles had been reversed, that would’ve been a whole different story. So honestly, I was kind of relieved to be the one who got seen.

 

Also, my brain was still half-asleep.

 

“…Man, I’m starving.”

 

“Ah, r-right… I see. If something simple is okay, I can make us something,” Shinohara offered.

 

It was a welcome suggestion, and I responded with genuine gratitude.

 

“You sure? That’d be a huge help! I actually restocked the fridge yesterday, so it should be in pretty good shape today!”

 

“I see, I see – but, Senpai…”

 

Shinohara slowly – very slowly – shifted her gaze to the side.

 

“Please put on some pants!!”

 

…Yeah. Mornings are dangerous for a lot of reasons.

 

Watching Shinohara blush, I found myself mistakenly thinking, Huh, she’s surprisingly innocent.

 

 

◇

◆

 

“Isn’t it normal to start with your pants? Like, pants first, right? That’s what I think,” Shinohara said, taking a jab as we sat around the round table eating a slightly late breakfast.

 

“I don’t really remember. My head was still foggy,” I replied.

 

“It hasn’t even been an hour, you know. That’s way past forgetful, Senpai,” she said, half exasperated.

 

She had taken off her coat and was down to just her sweater now.

 

“Maybe that’s just how my body works,” I deflected lazily, raising the nearly empty bowl of consommé soup to my lips.

 

The subtly spicy warmth spread through me, soaking into every fiber of my being. It was the kind of flavor that made you exhale with relief.

 

“This is so good…”

 

It was seriously delicious.

 

Maybe it tasted better than anything I’d ever had at a restaurant because I knew it was homemade by a girl, but even setting that aside, Shinohara clearly had a knack for cooking.

 

“What do you usually eat, Senpai?”

 

“Convenience store bento. Beef bowls.”

 

“Ugh, I knew it. That’s so bad for you.”

 

“I’m aware. But it is what it is.”

 

Sure, I technically had plenty of time to cook for myself. But having the time and having the energy are two very different things.

 

Maybe the energy gap I’d felt between me and Shinohara yesterday came from exactly this kind of mindset.

 

“…Maybe I’ll give cooking a shot.”

 

If there’s ever a time to try something new without overthinking it, it’s while I’m still a student.

 

As Shinohara stacked the empty dishes, she offered casually,

 

“Ooh, I like it. I’ll teach you!”

 

“Nice, then let’s start today. No time like the present.”

 

I downed the rest of the consommé in one satisfying gulp.

 

“Thanks for the food – it was seriously good.”

 

“No no, I’m just happy it was worth the effort. You always make it look like it tastes amazing, Senpai.”

 

“That’s because it does taste amazing.”

 

Saying that, I stood and made my way toward the kitchen.

 

The shine of the freshly cleaned sink hadn’t dulled a bit, and for once, doing the dishes didn’t feel like a chore.

 

“Should I wash them for you?” Shinohara offered.

 

“No way, I’m the only one who ate. Go chill out over there near the cushions, there’s a stack of manga.”

 

“If you’re just washing a few things, I’ll barely get through a couple pages,” she muttered.

 

Still, she made her way to the bookshelf without protesting.

 

Apparently, there were a few series she’d been curious about, because now and then I’d hear her mumble things like, “Ooh, I’ve been wanting to read this one.”

 

“Hey, by the way – why did you come over today? You’ve blended into the place so naturally I actually forgot to ask.”

 

Once I finished washing the dishes, I tossed the question at Shinohara. She closed the manga she’d just opened with a soft snap and laughed, “You’re seriously asking me that now?”

 

I smirked to myself, realizing I’d been the one to cut into her reading time with my question.

 

“I figured since I’m heading back home, I might as well stop by and say hi. I won’t get to see you again this year, after all.”

 

“Oh yeah? That so?”

 

Most students who live alone head back to their hometowns around this time of year. I didn’t actually know where Shinohara’s family lived, but I guess she’d be leaving town for a while too.

 

“What about you, Senpai? Not going home? Tomorrow’s New Year’s Eve.”

 

“I’ll go back for New Year’s Day. My parents live nearby, so I see them all the time anyway.”

 

“Huh. That’s kind of surprising.”

 

“What is?”

 

She didn’t answer.

 

Instead, she pulled out a few large pots and mixing bowls from the cupboard and started rummaging through the fridge.

 

I didn’t really care enough to press for an answer, so I just watched her in silence.

 

“Wait, you’ve got Hollandaise sauce in here? But you don’t even cook – why do you have this?”

 

Hollandaise sauce? I had no idea what that was off the top of my head.

 

But when she held up the container, a vague memory surfaced – I’d bought it on a whim, thinking I’d try making something fancy.

 

“Oh, that? I bought it ages ago ‘cause I wanted to try some elaborate recipe or something. Never even opened it.”

 

“This is a commercial-size container, you know. Where’d you even get this?”

 

“Online,” I replied.

 

“I thought so. Well, no sense letting it go to waste – let’s use it today. Senpai, can you crack four eggs for me?”

 

“Sure thing.”

 

I pulled out four eggs from the fridge.

 

On a whim, I tried cracking one with one hand – but totally failed.

 

“Why are you trying to do it one-handed? Just do it normally.”

 

“It was one failed attempt. This is where my comeback begins.”

 

“Yeah, no. I’ll take over.”

 

Shinohara snatched the eggs from me and cracked them with quick, efficient movements – with both hands.

 

She tossed butter into the microwave, poured the Hollandaise sauce into a large pot, and within minutes, the kitchen looked like something far beyond my comprehension.

 

Following her instructions, I felt more like her assistant than anything.

 

“You look kinda like a chef,” I said.

 

She moved with crisp precision, and in that moment, Shinohara seemed more mature than usual. Seeing someone excel in a field you’re bad at always makes them look more impressive.

 

“I actually really enjoy cooking. Ah, could you grab that bacon over the-”

 

Just as she was issuing another command, she suddenly froze mid-movement.

 

“What’s up?”

 

“Senpai… You don’t know what I’m making, do you?”

 

“An omelet?”

 

She looked genuinely baffled.

 

“No one spends this much time on an omelet… and no one who would think that should be allowed to teach someone how to cook.”

 

She let out a thoughtful “Hmm…” and frowned

 

“I kinda got caught up having fun and totally forgot I was supposed to be teaching you how to cook,” Shinohara admitted with a sheepish smile. “I’ll teach you next time, so just relax for now.”

 

“Huh? Why?”

 

“I want to show you the finished dish all plated up, you know? Like a little surprise.”

 

With that, she started humming to herself as she returned to the kitchen.

 

She really does love cooking.

 

Deciding to just look forward to the finished dish, I flopped onto the bed. The guilt of leaving everything to Shinohara was easily outweighed by the excitement of seeing what she’d make. Besides, I felt like if I got involved, I’d only ruin the taste. That would’ve been a waste.

 

As I flipped lazily through a manga, Shinohara eventually returned with a large plate in her hands and a proud look on her face.

 

“Tadaaa!”

 

Perched on the plate were English muffins, topped with glossy golden egg yolks and layered with ham – something that wouldn’t be out of place on a high-end café’s social media feed. My jaw dropped.

 

“Holy crap. I can’t believe something this good-looking came out of my kitchen.”

 

It’s Eggs Benedict. Fancy and tasty – one of my all-time favorites.”

 

Even the name sounded fancy. What the hell.

 

“Want one? I know you just had breakfast, but…”

 

Good thing I hadn’t eaten my fill at breakfast – my appetite was still intact. I picked one up and took a bite. The velvety yolk melted on my tongue, rich and warm.

 

“Holy crap, this is amazing! What is this?! It’s so good!”

 

“Right? It turned out really well today!” Shinohara beamed, clearly proud of herself.

 

Even she had to admit – this Eggs Benedict thing was on another level. And the fact that she instantly came up with a recipe just from spotting that weird-sounding sauce in my fridge? It said a lot about how much cooking she actually did.

 

“Welp, I’ve got a train to catch, so I’ll be heading out.”

 

“Oh. So you really did just stop by to say hi?”

 

Honestly, I thought that whole “just wanted to see your face thing was an excuse. But she nodded without hesitation.

 

“Yup. Just like I said. You helped me out, even if it was just a bit.”

 

Still… your place isn’t exactly close by. You didn’t have to go out of your way.”

 

Even if I had helped her, dropping by during the chaotic end-of-year rush seemed excessive. I felt a little guilty.

 

But Shinohara let out a big, exasperated sigh.

 

“C’mon, senpai. Do I look like the kind of girl who’d go out of her way for someone just because I’m nice?”

 

“Ugh…”

 

Bluntly put – no, she didn’t. After everything with Motosaka, I’d seen how quickly she turned cold toward people she lost interest in.

 

“I quit club activities, broke up with that senpai, and now I’m just another jobless bum. What else was I supposed to do but barge in here?”

 

“So I’m just your way of killing time? You’re the worst.”

 

“Ehehe, sounds like I’m kind of a terrible person when you put it like that, huh?”

 

She might as well have said it outright, but how could someone smile that brilliantly while doing so?

 

Shinohara’s free-spirited nature, unbound by convention, was honestly kind of refreshing to watch.

 

Well, with a face as cute as hers, there were probably a million guys out there who’d be thrilled to be used as a way to kill time.

 

“Eating alone gets kinda lonely, you know? So let’s have meals together once in a while. I’ll help with the housework, too.”

 

She leaned in suddenly, looking up at me with puppy-dog eyes.

 

“Just today’s fine. Really”

 

“Okay then, I’ll come over five days a week!”

 

“Were you even listening to me?!”

 

She put a hand to her mouth and giggled, her shoulders shaking with laughter.

 

She really was having fun with this.

 

“Alright, fine, how about twice a week? I’ll always text you beforehand, so that should be fine, right?”

 

“‘Should be fine’ – what’s with that tone? You’re acting like I’ve already agreed.”

 

But honestly, compared to her original ‘five days a week’ nonsense, twice a week with notice didn’t sound too bad. It actually felt… reasonable.

 

I wasn’t particularly busy. And if she was going to help around the house too, even if I’d be giving up a bit of my private time, I didn’t really have a solid reason to say no.

 

Besides, time spent with Shinohara had this strange… fulfilling quality to it.

 

And so, a bit too easily, I found myself saying —

 

“…Yeah, I guess that’s fine.”

 

“Fufufu. Door-in-the-face technique – success!”

 

“…The hell is that?”

 

I scowled at the random English she tossed out.

 

“It’s a negotiation tactic! You start with a big request so your actual goal sounds more reasonable by comparison. They even talk about it on TV sometimes.”

 

“Huh. I think I’ve heard of that before. Guess when it’s used in real life, it actually works.”

 

Though whether this exchange with Shinohara counted as “real life” was debatable.

 

“Right? I’m so glad I paid attention in that lecture,” Shinohara said, clearly pleased with my reaction as she stood up.

 

I got up as well, intending to walk her to the door, but she held out her hand to stop me.

 

“Oh, no need to see me out. I’m the one who dropped in uninvited, after all.”

 

“Alright. Then, I’ll see you next year.”

 

“Yes! Happy New Year!”

 

She gave a little salute and flashed a bright grin.

 

“Yeah… Thanks for everything this year.”

 

At my words, Shinohara gave a small bow and headed for the front door.

 

The door opened. A breeze whistled in.

 

Then silence returned.

 

Her house wasn’t even near mine – we didn’t share a station. She’d said she was going home by bullet train, so she must’ve gone out of her way to drop by.

 

Looking back, I couldn’t exactly call this a lucky year. I’d even been cheated on by a girlfriend I’d dated for nearly a year.

 

But still… in the end, it felt like the year wrapped up on a pretty decent note.

 

 

◇

◆

 

I couldn’t move from my bed.

 

Today was supposed to be a group date. A friend had invited me to fill out the numbers, and I’d agreed without thinking too hard about it.

 

But now that the day was here, I really, really didn’t want to go.

 

I just lay there, wondering if I could get away with bailing at the last minute.

 

Still, if I thought about my friend’s situation, backing out now would be putting her in a tight spot. I couldn’t care less what some random guy I’d never met might think, but I didn’t want to be the reason she got inconvenienced.

 

“Ugh… guess I’ll got…”

 

Dragging my heavy limbs, I reluctantly got up and moved to the mirror.

 

A few days had already passed since the new year began.

 

It was an ordinary morning, but the word “New Year” still lingered in everyone’s minds, giving the air a kind of buoyancy.

 

Even the TV was still running its high-energy holiday lineup.

 

Glancing at my phone, I saw a few messages roll in just then. I’d set it to silent, so there was no sound, but this kind of thing happened now and then.

 

[Happy New Year! Super excited for that new movie coming out soon. What about you, Mayu-chan?]

 

Considering the sender, it wasn’t exactly the kind of message I felt like responding to right now.

 

I’d made it a habit to reply to these kinds of low-priority texts all at once when I was in the right headspace. It was better for my mental health that way.

 

Washing my face made the sluggishness lift a little.

 

I opened the drawer in my vanity and pulled out my primer.

 

As I dabbed a coin-sized amount onto my face, the feeling of not wanting to go outside began to fade.

 

If I could just get through today, I had nothing else planned for a while – I could relax. Clinging to that optimistic thought, I began patting foundation on top of the primer.

 

I wondered when I started thinking of makeup as part of my basic appearance.

 

At least back in high school, it didn’t really matter if I wore it or not. The girls who did seemed a little more mature, but not wearing any wasn’t weird either. If only that mindset had carried on, things would’ve been so much easier.

 

Once I entered college, everyone around me was doing their makeup, so naturally, I started doing it every day too.

 

My feelings about doing my makeup vary from day to day – but today, I was feeling particularly sensitive.

 

“Ughhh, what a pain…”

 

I let out my frustration aloud.

 

Even so, I didn’t slack off. Sure, I was cute without makeup – but there was no doubt I looked even cuter with it.

 

As a woman, there was no way I’d allow myself to show up in front of guys wearing sloppy makeup.

 

Finishing off with a soft pink lip, I moved on to getting dressed.

 

I didn’t feel the least bit excited, but after some half-hearted deliberation, I settled on an outfit.

 

It felt less like I was picking clothes for a date and more like I was suiting up for battle.

 

I realized I was about to be late, so I rushed out the door and speed-walked to the station. Partway there, I noticed I was wearing plain sneakers.

 

For a moment, I thought maybe I should’ve worn heels, since I’d gone through the trouble of dressing up – but I shook my head at the thought.

 

If I didn’t care enough to remember that detail, it probably meant this group date wasn’t worth the effort. If this were a date with someone I actually liked, I probably would’ve spent ages obsessing over the exact heel height.

 

“Someone I like, huh…”

 

The last time I could say I truly liked someone with absolute certainty was way back in elementary school. And even then, it’s just a blurry memory now – I can’t really recall the feeling.

 

But lately… there’s been someone near me who makes me feel something different from everyone else.

 

“I wonder if senpai’s free today…”

 

If the group date turned out to be a drag, maybe I’d just leave early.

 

Opening my phone, I sent a message to senpai.

 

[Happy New Year! I kinda wanna come over today – could you leave your key in the mailbox?]

 

What a ridiculously presumptuous message. If I saw something like that, I’d probably cringe.

 

Then, a reply came almost instantly.

 

[Happy New Year. Got it.]

 

No emojis. Totally dry and to the point.

 

And yet, somehow, it carried a strange warmth.

 

I wondered why that was – even just for a few seconds – before sending him one of the cute stamps I’d recently bought.

 

My heavy footsteps felt just a little bit lighter after that.

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